THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
