New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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