I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
