He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
