people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
