i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
