Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
