just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
