I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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