I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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