What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you inspire me to be a worse person
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
