His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
FUCK WHALES
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
