My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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