he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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