Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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