My room smells like vodka and shame
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
