i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
