This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
