Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The best revenge is premature balding
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
