So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
