I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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