sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
