she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize