R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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