I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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