My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
