i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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