all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
