you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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