no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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