I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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