she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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