wat bout pragnant strippers??
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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