so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
