i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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