I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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