I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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