No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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