I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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