This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
