question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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