I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
