New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Boobs speak an international language.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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