we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
