If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh god it's open bar.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize