On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
