I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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