thus making me awesome and them whores
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
