Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
