How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You can't special order awesome
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
