New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
