Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
