whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
