Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
