he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i love accidental penises.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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