We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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