fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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