idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think my moral compass just broke
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