no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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