You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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