So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
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