ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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