Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
