Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
