dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
