You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Screwed.edu
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize