last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
