Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
