i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
