I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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