We're facebook friends in real life
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
