Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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