I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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