I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
