Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We have so much sex to catch up on
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
